


Tears of confession

by kurenohikari



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sad, Surprises, new bonds, parting to an adventure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6896596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurenohikari/pseuds/kurenohikari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when five kind, strong and beautiful souls are hurt by the ones they love the most? </p><p>Ichigo, Renji, Hiromi, Yumichica and Hanataurou are mistreated by their loved ones, but they don't let that get to them. They get back on their feet. They decide to leave so they can get strongger and do the best thing they know to do... protect others.</p><p>What will happen when Grimmjow, Byakuya, Toushirou, Ikkaku and Kenpachi finally find out what they had lost? Will they be too late? Or will they get on time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ichigo

It's been two years since the Winter war and the defeat of Aizen, a lot of things happened since that day. Firstly I almost lost my powers, but Shiro (Ichigo's inner Hollow) saved me. He unified himself with me in some way, he did it to recharge my spiritual powers. No one knew how he did that, which really bothered Mayuri and Kisuke. That didn't mean that I stopped being a vizard, completely the opposite. When Shiro disappeared and unified himself with me, I became even more a vizard than my fellow vizard mates. My hollow side and my shinigami one finally were in peace and complete balance... but one thing that I'll never admit out loud is that I miss Shiro. That little shit drove me crazy and wanted to see me dead, but he had always been there to save my sorry ass when I needed him.

Talking about the vizards. Surprisingly when the old man Yamamoto offered them to go back to soul society, they refused saying that they'd rather stay here in Karakura with me. Stating that it was their duty protect and defend our territory from other packs. It seems like hollow have packs, so vizards have them too.  
  
The surviving Arrancar are no problem either. When Aizen was defeated Grimmjow took over the throne of Las Noches as its new king. The bastard of Aizen used the powers of his sword to make the ex-Sexta think that he was weaker than him, but in reality Grimmjow was the strongest of all the Spadas and shinigami traitors. The true ruler of Las Noches and the Hueco world.  
  
As so he made sure that all the Arrancar left Karakura alone, also there was a big diminution in the hollow activity since he took over. In a way I was thankful for that, my studies got better... a lot better. When I graduated I was the third of my class, just behind Uryu and Inue. However, I knew that Grimmjow only did that so I would be on my best capacity to fight him.  
  
Not that I don't like a good fight, but fighting Grimmjow always lead to the same thing... rough sex against the nearest surface. I don't know how it started. One moment we were clashing swords and throwing punches, the next second he had me pinned against a wall kissing the life out of me.  
  
I don't know when I've started noticing how handsome his features were, or how hot his macho alpha attitude was. But what I know is that I had fallen head over heels for Grimmjow and that there was no turning back.  
  
At the moment I was sulking on the kitchen table of my house. I sighed as I looked around the mess of the room. Previously there had been a celebration, where all my friends (minus the ones from Sereit), Kisuke, Yoruichi, Tessai, Jinta, Ururu, the vizards, my little sisters and dad assisted. After all I had been accepted into the Tokyo medicine school, and I was to start there next fall.   
  
No matter how much I tried for the rest that worked so hard to make me this small party, I couldn't manage to feel happy at all. My head was full of so many conflicted thoughts that it made it almost impossible to feel anything but frustration and sadness.  
  
Sighing again, I looked up from my beer to the picture of my mother and thought to myself: _I can't believe I will do this, not after how much I shouted at my father for being so stupid to do it himself but... mom, help me. I don't know what to do. Which is the right way to calm my aching heart?_  
  
"Berry!"   
  
_Talking about Rome_. I commented, snorting, in my head before turning around to face Grimmjow, and hissed at him angrily.  
  
"Shut it! My family is asleep and I don't want them to wake up".  
  
"What happened here" he demanded to know, he never asks because he is too good for that "It looks like a party" he commented, cornering me against the table with his hands on the back of my chair, each one on a side of my head. The fucker even had the nerve to smirked when I blushed because he leaned down, so he would be at my eye level, making our lips be only millimeters away "You had fun and didn't invite me. Ch, ch, it's not a right move to anger the King of Hueco world. No one told you that before".  
  
"Fuck you!" I cursed under my breath, but because we were so close he was able to hear me which, made him chuckle.  
  
"I would love to" he purred seductively before stealing a sensual and slow kiss from me, a kiss that left me with a ragged breathing "But first..." the bastard teased me and flashed me his idiotic cocky smirk "... what was the party for?".  
  
"To celebrate my acceptance to the college of medicine from Tokyo" I replied, licking my lips unconsciously.  
  
I enjoyed the way his eyes followed my tongue, as if he was invoke to do so. There was something about giving up control and becoming someone's center of attention. I gave up so much for the shinigami and that only got me to be their side kick to call whenever they had a problem and left when I had finished my 'duty', of course not counting my friends there. But with Grimmjow I didn't have to act strong or fight for attention, he gave it to me immediately. I even think that he gets off on him having the upper hand.   
  
However, like with the shinigami when I had completed my use I was discarded away like a toy without any use. And that made me feel... well, used but in a complete different sense than with the Gotei 13.  
  
Suddenly I was brought back from my thoughts when he attacked my lips again, but this time it was roughed and more demanding than before. He began caressing my thighs, instinctively I opened my legs for him to be more comfortable, my body already in tune with his after so many nights of passion shared between both of us.   
  
"That's it, good boy. Opening your legs for me without any protest, like a bitch in heat" he murmured huskily in my ear before nipping my earlobe.  
  
I don't know if it was what he said in that moment, or the accumulation of so much frustration and hurt, or that I finally saw that I was a toy for him, but something broke inside of me at that moment. Something that made me push him away, use my Substitute Shinigami badge to turn into my shinigami form and ran away from him, heading to the door towards the Gotei 13. Of course, Grimmjow followed me and caught me just only a few meters away from my objective.   
  
"What the hell?!" he cursed, glaring at me "What is wrong with you!".  
  
"I love you, son if a bitch! That is what is wrong with me!" I screamed at him.  
  
Tears of anger and frustration burning behind my eyelids, but not letting the  fall. I couldn't let him see me more vulnerable. Grimmjow let go of his grip on me to look at me as if I had grown a second head.  
  
"What did you say" he said, now with a more leveled tone of voice.  
  
"I love you, Grimmjow. But I am only a game for you, a toy to use whenever you are bored. I can't keep on doing this not anymore" I told him, hating how pleading I sounded.  
  
"You want this to finish" he clarified with a deep scowl.  
  
I just chuckled humorless and took advantage of this slip up of his, I flashed step to the enter of the door and waited for it to close. But before that I told him sincerely:  
  
"You can't finish something that never started" I let a single lone tear trail my cheek and my eyes drown in the beauty of Grimmjow for the last time, before watching the doors close separating me from him.  
  
When I got to Rukongai I wandered for a while before noticing Renji's raitsu and following it towards a very homey and Japanese style cafe. But what surprised me the most is who I found in there, they were...


	2. Renji

_Really?!_ I thought angrily as I watched Kuchiki taichou completely ignore me.   
  
The whole sixth division was celebrating and congratulating me, but not even that seemed to matter for my cold hearted taichou... well, ex-taichou.  
  
_But what else could I have expected?_ I asked myself, all anger gone and the only thing left was frustration _Not even me becoming the captain of the fifth division would have caught his attention. I am just a silly and pathetic monkey that is still foolishly trying to reach towards the moon. And maybe I am... he is a high mighty noble and I am a street rat_.  
  
I sighed again, flashed my ex-shinigami mates a forced grateful smile and left with the excuse of being tired after my captain test. Luckily they didn't notice and made me promise them to not act as a stranger just because from now on we were going to be in different divisions. Of course, I agreed. Since knowing that I was elected to make the test I vowed to not act like some ex-captains, just because I will be one doesn't mean that I will treat the rest like inferiors.  
  
"Why are you leaving early" demanded to know Kuchiki taichou.  
  
"Will it kill you to add a interrogation sign at the end of a question?" it left my lips before I could stop it.  
  
But then remembered that I didn't need to fear him, he wasn't my taichou anymore. This thought brought me equal relief as sadness. I turned around in time to see surprise flashing in his eyes before his expressionless facade returned.  
  
"I am waiting" was the only answer I got from Kuchiki taichou.  
  
"I do as well" I replied, watching a bit gleefully how shock flashed by his face again. I liked to know that at least I had some effect on him "I have been waiting for some kind of respect or at least notice of my worth from you for _years_. I really don't know when my hate for you, for taking Rukia the girl I love like a sister, away from me changed to admiration...".  
  
"She is my sister" he cut me off with a glare and icy tone.  
  
"And what a great job you do!" I snapped at him, my rage returning and stunning my ex-taichou to silence "Whenever you have to choose between your pride and her, guess what wins?" I asked sarcastically "Your pride!" I yelled at him "That is not how a brother should act! You look down at the rest in disgust and superiority. No one matter more than yourself and your pride!".  
  
"Abara..." he began to talk, as much rage and surprise clear in his tone, but I cut him off.  
  
"You don't notice the dedication and effort that other people do for you. I worked hard every day so you could be proud of a what a dedicated fukotaichou you had, even when I was sick I tried as if it didn't matter. I followed you when you wanted to execute Rukia, I fucking forgave you when you tried to kill me! When the zampaktous were driven crazy by their instincts and everyone thought you were a traitor I stood firmly believing that they were mistaken, no matter what were your actions".  
  
I noticed that tears were falling from my eyes but I didn't care, I finally have the opportunity to speak my mind and I was going to take as much advantage as I could.  
  
"I stood behind you and followed you every step of your way, since I became your fukotaichou. I gave you my total loyalty and my whole dedication, all because I looked up at you. Not because I was the monkey that tried to reach the moon, but because I was the snake that admired it. I admired how bright you shone, how graceful you were, how strong you were, how you could be the head of your clan and the taichou of the sixth division at the same time... but it never mattered to you. A noble would never care for a street rat, would they?" I flashed him a sad and defeated smile.  
  
It surprised me to see that his expressionless facade wasn't in his face anymore. That I was able to see such a raw anguish in his eyes, an anguish that was so featureless of taichou Kuchiki. However, I didn't care. I didn't care that I think he finally began noticing me, because it was already too late... I had given up on my ex-taichou.  
  
"The worst is that I had fallen in love with you" his eyes widened, only a fraction but it was a lot on the usual expressionless taichou "But it doesn't matter anymore" I turned around to leave, but I was stopped by a hand on my arm "Kuchiki taichou?" I asked him surprised.  
  
What stunned me wasn't the sudden action of my ex-taichou, I was expecting it. After the way I behaved I would have been shocked if he didn't punch me for my bad behavior. However, the strike never came. He just stared at me with a thoughtful look, it was unreadable and gave me the sense that he was calculating me.  
  
"I see you don't feel the same was anymore" he said after a while of silence.  
  
"It has nothing about not feeling the same" I said with a humorless laugh "It has to do with having given up and being tired".  
  
"The fukotaichou I know would have never given up" he told me, now glaring.  
  
I ignored the recognition of my abilities he had just given me. Like I said before, it was already too late.  
  
"The fulotaichou you know is tired of having his heart tore apart from his chest and trample on it" I replied, freeing myself from his grip.  
  
I flashed step away from taichou Kuchiki and used my best effort to suppress my raitsu, even if I wasn't the best on it.  
  
I wandered for a while through Rukongai until I caught Famille*, my favorite restaurant.   
  
_I must have unconsciously walked towards here._ I thought. _Better. I am sure that Hiromi will listen to me and give me good advice, she always does_.  
  
"Renji?!" she exclaimed surprised but then smiled brightly. However, I could notice that it was forced "What are you doing here? I thought that you would be celebrating with the sixth division because of your promotion".   
  
"I'll tell you my story later, you tell me yours first" I told her after sitting down.  
  
"I don't know what you mean" her smile flattered for a second, but I noticed it.  
  
"Don't treat me as an idiot, Hiromi. Not you" I replied with a strained tone of voice, remembering my Kuchiki taichou "I might not be as intelligent or good with words as you, but I have always been there for my friends".  
  
"Renji... I am so sorry! I didn't mean to make you feel like that" she launched at me hugging the life out of me.   
  
_Damn it!_ I cursed in my head. _Sometimes I forget how strong she is. I really have to convince her to join the shinigami_.  
  
"I just had a very bad day" she confessed in a murmur, but I was able to hear her.  
  
"Tell me then" I told her softly. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her closer to me "It's time for you to lean on other and let them be the ones giving advice. Nobody can be strong for ever... we break otherwise".  
  
I felt a pang of hurt in my chest at my own words, recalling my own issues with my ex-taichou.  
  
"Well..." her voice brought me back from my blue thoughts "It all started when..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Famille (French) = Family (English).


	3. Hiromi

**Last Chapter:**

"I just had a very bad day" she confessed in a murmur, but I was able to hear her.   
  
"Tell me then" I told her softly. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her closer to me "It's time for you to lean on other and let them be the ones giving advice. Nobody can be strong for ever... we break otherwise".   
  
I felt a pang of hurt in my chest at my own words, recalling my own issues with my ex-taichou.   
  
"Well..." her voice brought me back from my blue thoughts "It all started when..."

**Chapter 3:**

"It all started three years ago, after the first fight against Aizen. I normally have a lot of costumers that are Shinigami, being honest the great majority of my costumers are from the Gotei 1, specially the third, ninth, tenth and sixth division. However, one particular dawn a new face I've never seen entered my restaurant/café/bar/confectionery or whatever this place is. I quickly recognized the white trench coat of a taichou and the symbol of the tenth division. Normally, only Shunsiu-taichou and Jūshirō-taichou come here, and now you. This place is more resorted by fukotaichous, seaten Shinigami and normal shinigamis, not by taichous. So, as you'll imagine I got curious and decided to know what made him come here. I was expecting something like Rangiku-fukotaichou recommended my place or something like that" I chuckled sadly at my naivety and frowned at the true reason "However, it ended up being a complete different story. That morning had been the first day of Hinamori-fukotaichou's hospitalization... he had just left the fourth division and wanted some peace and quiet from everything and everyone. So, he had just entered the first place he had seen open".

"I still don't get what does all this has to do with you feeling blue?" interrupted me Renji with a confused frown. I smiled a bit at him, I had always adored how blunt and utterly cute he is when he doesn't understand something. But right now I just wanted to smash my tray on his head "After all, it happened three years ago?!".

"If you would just shut up and let me speak, you'll see where I am wanting to get to!" I snapped at him, ignoring his expression of pure shock at my so un-Hiromi way of acting "Being my kind self I offered him an ear to hear him out in his times of need, just like I do for everyone else. At first he was hesitant to share about his problems... well, he more likely refused as soon as I offered my help. But you know me".

"You didn't stop at nothing, you saw a soul in need and your mother instincts reacted" Renji cut me off, ignoring my yell of 'They are not mother instincts!' and continued speaking "You shared some of your past, surely of the family you miss in earth and how you love your job. He fell into your trap and began telling you about his problems, and later thanked you for your excellent advices".

"Yes, but the curious thing is that he came back. Every single day at the same time, when there is no one awake but a few people from the village, he comes to here and talks to me. He told me about trivial things as what are his favourite things, critics my food and complains about his division, especially Rangiku. But he also told me about important things, such as his grandmother, Hinamori-fukotaichou and his childhood. I in return for his trust, I told him about my favourite things, new recipes that I want to try on and complain about drunk Shinigami that don't know when they have to leave. I recall one time that he offered me to kick their asses for m, so they'll learn their place" I chuckled at the memory "Of course, I told him that it wasn't necessary. That I knew how to defend myself and if I needed help I could always depend on my best friend, Renji. He only left me alone when I assured him that I meant the fukotaichou of the sixth division and not a man from the village, who curiously had the same name".

"He is quite overprotective for the ones he love, even if he doesn't like to admit it everyone knows it" commented Renji eyes sparkling with amusement, surely imagining Toshiro. I sighed in relief at that, he was so sad that it broke my heart. He must have finally confessed his love for Kuchiki-taichou and had gotten his heart broken. 

"I also... I also told him about my past..." I confessed softly, playing with my apron nervously.

"By your past you mean... you can't mean that?!" exclaimed Renji shell shocked.

"Yes, I meant that. I told him about my life when I was alive, my first years here, how I met you and... how I died when I was still human and alive".

"You trusted him that much?!" he asked me, very surprised by my confession.

 "I dated the guy, of course I trusted him with that!" I exclaimed back at him "The base for a healthy and good relationship is communication and trust".

"Dated?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow "Hiromi what happened?".

"I... I'm getting there" was my weak and shy response "As I was telling you, we talked, we got to know each other, we teased each other, we laughed together... we became friends and confidents for each other. We took our friendship outside 'Famille' and began to schedule meetings in different places. In simple words, I fell in love with him Renji. I knew since the beginning that he loved... loves Hinamori-fukotaichou. But I still blinded myself with my feelings and asked him out when the war against Aizen was over. Otherwise Syrene would have been very ashamed of me. We never back out from a challenge or let fear stop us from doing something. As pathetic as it sounds I convinced myself that as long as he didn't cheat on me with her everything would be alright" I began to sob a bit, and let him big arms surround me in the safety of his embrace "And it was, everything was perfect between us... if we ignore the fact that whenever Hinamori-fukotaichou wanted a damn thing or needed Toshiro he would dump me without a second thought or explanation. The worst is that he never apologized".

"How did you stand two years of that?!" he demanded to know angrily.

"How could you stand so many years under the cruel treatment of Kuchiki-taichou?" I retorted, shutting him up "The same way as you" I answered his question, even if I was angry at him "Because I love him. But as I told you, in a relationship is necessary trust and communication. I confessed how left out I felt whenever he would dump me for Hinamori-fukotaichou and how hurt I felt that he never apologized for that. Do you know what he said?" I chuckled sadly at how pathetic I sounded, and continued talking when he shook his head as an answer "He said that I should stop being a jealous and insecure brat, that he only does what he does because his best friend needed him. That he never complained when I dump him to help you out or anyone else. Am I really that bad? I always apologize to him for doing that, and make him sweets as a peace offering. However, he never does anything. I know that that's because he doesn't believe he is wrong... because for him Hinamori-fukotaichou will always come before me and is the one he loves" I roughly tried to whip the tears away with my fists, trying to stop myself from crying again "Do you know that he completely forgot our two year anniversary? I thought that it was because he was busy with his captain's duties, I waited for him the whole day and the following one I still held hope that he would do something special. At the end, he didn't even remember and had spent the whole day shopping with Hinamori-fukotaichou! He hates shopping! I was never able to make him go with me, but she could and she just had to chose our anniversary for that!" I couldn't handle it anymore and broke down into tears again.

"That bastard!" he cursed, cuddling me against his chest "I'll reap him into pieces! Please tell me you broke up with him then" he almost begged me.

"I did, I broke up with him this morning. I was so furious that I couldn't stop myself from shouting at him all the thing I had just told you, but in anger not sadness. He was shell shocked, I'll tell you that but it was worth it. I haven't felt so relived in years".

"I know what you mean, it happened the same to me when I finally told Kuchiki how I felt" he replied with a sad but comforting small smile "What will you do now?".

"As cowardly as it will sound, I will transfer Zero's afternoon hours to the early morning and I will work during lunch time. I just need a time without Toshiro's presence, you know?".

"I do, I will try to evade the sixth division for the same reason" he told me and then laughed hysterically "How pathetic we are".

"We are, aren't we?" I smiled sadly, snuggling closer to my best friend. 

However, all that comfort and sense of safety went through the window as soon as I heard the sweet voice I thought I'd never hear again.

"Hiomi-neechan?" I looked up, from Renji's chest, and my heart stopped beating at the owner of the soft voice "Is it really you?".

"Ma petite fraise*..." I pushed my best friend away and rushed towards my little brother's side. I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled his head against my chest, which would have been impossible if Ichigo hadn't fallen into his knees. Given the fact that I died when I was in my last year of primary school which made my stature against the one of an eighteen years old boy ( _Yes, I keep note of how many years have passed since I've seen my family_ ) big "Oh Kami-sama, please tell me that you discovered your powers as a Shinigami and that's why you are here. And that it isn't the fact that you died young" I begged him.

"I am a substitute shinigami Hiomi-neechan, relax" he assured me, voice low as if he spoke louder would break the moment and make me vanish... as if I was a dream or illusion "Are you really here? Did I finally found you after three years of seeking you here?".

"Wait... are you that substitute shinigami who defeated Aizen and stopped Rukia's execution?" I questioned him, releasing I'm enough so I could see his face.

"Yes, I am" he answered shyly, as he would always do whenever he did something amazing and was waiting for my praise.

"I am so proud of you, ma petite fraise" I assured him, kissing both of his cheeks, forehead and nose, as I used to do when I was alive. Making him giggle as he used to do when we were little "Wait a minute... if you are _that_ shinigami.... then.... Renji!" I turned around rapidly, throwing a glare at my best friend "You knew he was my little brother all this time and never said anything?!" shouting or loosing my cool wasn't my thing, but I felt hurt and betrayed by my best friend so sue me.

"No!" he replied rapidly, scared for his life "You told me about your family before but never mentioned your last name! Now that I think about it, no one knows your last name. After all, you make everyone call you by your first name" he tried to excuse himself, but this time nothing was saving him for his stupidity.

"Maybe you didn't know my last name, but you knew I have a little brother called Ichigo, that my twin sisters names are Karin and Yuzu and that my father is Isshin. How could you have been so idiot to not connect the dots before!" I exclaimed angrily, really happy that there was no one this night at the café to see the emotional wreck show that I was putting.

"Sorry!" he apologized, jumping behind the counter to hide from me.

"Renji!" I was about to follow him and beat the crap out of him, but Ichigo stopped me by wrapping his arms around me and leaning his face on my back. That froze me, I knew those movements from anywhere, ma petite fraise is in pain "What is it little brother? Who hurt you?".

"Grimmjow..." was the mumbled response from Ichigo.

 _The Arrancar king?! What had you gotten into this time ma petite fraise?_ I thought in distress.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ma petite fraise (French) = My little strawberry (English).


	4. Yumichika

"Yumichika! Stop!" Shuuhei called out for me, as he ran behind me. I didn't pay him any attention and just let my feet take me as far away from him as they could. Of course, he couldn't let me do what I wanted for once and had to flash step in front of me "What's gotten into you?!" he demanded to know with a confused frown.

"Ok! I've got enough!" I exclaimed angrily and frustrated at his obliviousness "Do you want to know what's wrong with me? YOU are what's wrong with me!".

"Wh... what the hell?!" he snapped at me this time angry, but I could see a bit of hurt in his eyes.

 _Good, maybe he'll feel a bit of the pain I have._ I thought malignantly.

"You know what, I told everyone what my zanpakuto does for you. I had to endure a complete month of solitude and cold shoulders from my friends and colleagues for that. Ikkaku almost kicked me out of our room in the eleventh division barracks because of the huge secret I kept hidden from him. All because for you!" I yelled at him, not caring that ugly tears were falling from my eyes or his wide open eyes were full of surprise and pain "You told me that I had no right to demand you to tell everyone that you are bisexual and dating me if I kept Ruri'iro Kujaku's nature a secret. So I said the truth, thinking that you would get a hint and we would be able to parade our love through the Soul Society. But I was wrong...".

"Yumi..." he murmured in shock, surely not costumed to see me so weak.

"Don't you dare!" I snapped at him eyes shinning, not only with my tears but also in anger "You have no right to call me that, we are over. Do you hear me? Over! I won't date a coward that let his friends get him to flirt with a slut like Rangiku because he was afraid that they'll find out that he is with a man! That is so unbeautiful. Hihi, it seems like you won't be having that fear anymore. Why don't you make us both a favour and get back to that bar and fuck Rangiku until you forget about me. Don't worry, it seems that it won't take much time" I pushed him away and tried to walk away. Keyword: tried. Shuuhei was the persistent idiot that he always is and grabbed my arm trying to stop me "Get off!" I shook him off "You tore my heart out tonight Shuuhei, you didn't do just that you also spat on it and dance a tango with Rangiku over it. Just let me go... please".

I hated to beg, I never beg, but I couldn't take it anymore. Taking the hint for once in his life, Shuuhei let me got. Or maybe he was shocked that I begged, I don't know and I don't care. I was just happy that I could flash step far away from him. Of course, I was so unlucky that night that my tears didn't let me see where I was going and bumped into someone.

"Ita!" the chibi one complained but then asked worriedly "Yumichika-san! Are you ok?!" the familiar and comforting voice of Hantarou brought me into tears once again. But this time instead of trying to swallow them I just jumped on the fourth division shinigami, who was considered like the mother figure of the eleventh division and a good friend of mine, and cried on his chest. As the amazing person he is, he let me cry quietly. Once I've finally calmed down he asked me calmly "Ready to tell me what's wrong?".

Hanatarou was one of the closest friends I've got and I trusted him completely, which is the principal reason why I started telling him everything. He was clearly shocked by my confession, but then it changed into a protective anger worth of a bear mother. No one but the eleventh division and those who dared to cross him have seen this side of Hanatarou, a side that isn't shy or hesitant but strong and secure. I am sure if I hadn't stop him right there and assured him that there was nothing to worry about anymore, I would have been notified tomorrow that Shuuhei was in bed rest for huge injuries very well placed. Because that's where Hanatarou's strength is, in his medical studies. He knows exactly where to hit to cause the exact effect he wants in his opponent, even if he isn't very strong physically he knows how much spiritual pressure to use for each hit. Also, he is quite wicked with the Surgical instruments when he wants to.

"I am going to a cafe that I go to a lot with Yachiru, it has the best sweets ever. Would you like to drown your sorrows in chocolate?" he offered me kindly as always.

"Yes, I'll need some chocolate" I reply. After a few minutes of walking in silence, I finally asked the queston that has been in my mind lately "What's wrong Hanatarou? Even if it's dark I've noticed your red puffy eyes".

"I... do... don't..."

"Speak" I cut him off.   

"Ok" he sighed defeated and started talking.


	5. Hanatarou

_"Hey taichou! Why is that scum of the fourth division still here?" I stopped frozen, behind the door of the training room, when I heard the question of a shinigami of the eleventh division._

"Yeah, that idiot is so weak and _fragile_. He doesn't belong here, I still don't know how a coward like him was allowed to be a shinigami" another one commented.

_"I still can't believe how he was allowed to enter the Academy! Must have slept with one of the officers, the only good thing he serves for is to be fucked" the first one retorted barking a cruel laugh, the second one soon following._

_"He has a nice ass, doesn't he? Maybe we should pay him a visit tonight..."._

_I didn't even hear the rest. I rushed far away, cheeks burning in embarrassment and eyes clouded by tears of shame. Running away in fear of being noticed by them, and causing that little visit much early. But what hurt the most was the ache in my heart by the fact that Zaraki-taichou didn't say anything, that he didn't defend me... maybe he thinks like them._

_I couldn't believe how they could treat me like this after all I did for them. After caring from them as if they were family since the moment my taichou elected me to take care of the eleventh division. I made my best effort to be part of this big family, liking how united they were in comparison of the other division. I thought I was finally part of it... I was wrong._

_I bumped into someone as I left the building, but I ignored the squeak in favor of continuing running away. After all that's all I'm good for..._

"They said what?!" exclaimed a furious Yumichika, ready to murder whoever they were "I am reaping them into pieces".

"Don't" was my only reply, soft and weak... as always.

"They threatened to rape you Hanatarou!" he snapped at me angrily "I can't believe taichou just stood there and let them talk about you like that!" this time I couldn't stop a sob of sadness from coming out from my lips "Oh, Hanatarou..." he sighed sadly, wrapping his arms around me and dragging me into a strong and comforting hug "You love taichou, don't you?".

"I ju... just wanted hi... him to notice m... me, to see mo... more than just a we... weak member from th... the fourth division tha... that he hates so mu... much" I cried into his chest "I gu... guess I wa... was wr... wrong!".

"Come on Hanatarou, let's go to that cafe. It seems like we both need a lot of chocolate" he commented with a tired sigh.

Luckily we were only a few blocks from the place. However, instead of calming down as I always do in this place, I jumped startled by the unpredictable shout of Hiromi-chan. She never shouts!

"I am so killing that blue bastard panther! I don't care that he is the Arrancar King, he will die by my hands!" I blinked a few times and exchanged a confused look with Yumichika, both thinking the same thing: _What is going on here?_ "Hanatarou! Welcome back! Where is Yachiru? I adore that little girl!" she welcomed us as soon as she noticed our presence, making me sweat drop at how weird is her mood.

"Hi Hiromi, Yachiru is probably in her room" I answered, forcing a small smile. One which tired me more than any crying I did before "I came today with a friend".

"Let me guess, you want chocolate to help you drown your broken hearts" she stated, surprising us both. _How did she know?!_ "Welcome to the club!" she greeted us with false excitement "We are all suffering from the same problem. Why don't you both sit down while I prepare some tea and chocolate sweets for us. It's in the house tonight. Then we can tell each other our problems and complain without caring for anything" she suggested.

Not having nothing better to do I accepted. And who would have imagined it? Abarai-taichou in love with his ex-captain and Ichigo having sex with the Arrancar king. What shocked me the most was Hiromi-chan being Ichigo's defunted dead sister and breaking up with Hitsugaya-taichou. They did such a great couple, I would have never thought they had those kind of problems. Then again I am mostly of the time wrong, why wouldn't this be another time?


	6. Grimmjow

**_"I love you, son if a bitch! That is what is wrong with me!"_ **

**_"I am only a game for you, a toy to use whenever you are bored"_ **

**_"I can't keep on doing this not anymore"_ **

**_"You can't finish something that never started"_ **

"Grimmjow!" Halibel yelled snapping me out of my thoughts.

I raised my gaze from the paperwork on my lap and looked at her with a boring expression, trying to conceal how much Berry's words affected me. They had been ringing in my head repeatedly these last couple of days. I chuckled humourlessly, if he only knew what he meant to me... How his strength and beauty in combat took my breath away, making me want to be better so he can see what a worthy mate I could be. Not only by getting stronger, but by showing him that I could be a good person/hollow as well. That _he_ is the reason why the hollow activity as decreased in Karakura. That everything I wanted since I woke up from Aizen's control was to have _him_. At the beginning I thought that if I could have him only physically then I would be fine, but then I began craving more and more from him.

No... at the beginning I thought the same way that Ichigo did. I believed that I only wanted his body, that he was only a... a toy for me. And everything I did was so I could have more possibilities of using his delicious body. However, hearing him say the lies I told myself over and over again without believing them at all... woke me up for a second time. However, this time not from any mind control but from my own lies. I discovered that I do have a heart, one that only desires Berry and that broke when I saw his tear stained face as the gates to the soul society closed.

"It seems that he is spacing again" Stark commented in his absentmindedly way, but there was a hint of concern that got my attention and made me smirk in pride. Even when Aizen had us under his control he never got us to care about him, we weren't anything but weapons at his disposal. Now... now we are a family, a strange and mismatched one but a family at least.

"Well, he needs to snap out of it soon and come to my laboratory. We all need to see this immediately!" Szayel demanded from the speakers he installed all over the castle.

I looked at both of my Espadas, the three of us were confused of what had Szayel so stressed out, which was very unlike him. So we all rushed to the laboratory, when I say all I mean the whole castle, we expected to find enemies attacking or something like that. However, we found something even worse. 

We found _them_... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry but this chapter is short.


	7. Byakuya

"Oni-sama, please talk to me" my sweet Rukia pleaded as soon as I returned to the Kuchiki mansion, ambushing me before I could lock myself in my office.

That's what I have been doing these last couple of days, doing my work as a captain, yelling and working my division until they bled, then locking myself in  my office to work myself until exhaustion. Because if I didn't do that I would cry myself to sleep, and as the Kuchiki head of my family I could not cry... for no one. Not even when everything I touch ends up breaking: Hisana, Renji... and soon surely Rukia. That's why I tried my best to get away from her, so that she won't end up suffering as her best friend did.

"What's wrong Oni-sama? This is not like you at all... Is this about Renji turning into a captain?" I unwittingly flinched, it was only for a second and just because she caught me off guard. However, for someone who knew me so much as Rukia and... Renji, they would have noticed it immediately "So it has to do with Renji... did he finally confess to you?" my head snapped towards her "You really thought that no one knew about that?" she slightly smirked, surely happy to see that she caught on something before her big brother "It's not as if everyone knows... but people caught on his yearning gazes towards you, and his unflinching loyalty to you. It was a surprise to all of us who knew about his feelings when he accepted to go through the captain test, we all know how much he loves working for you... especially since he can be close to you. But this isn't about him confessing, is it?" she asked sadly.

"He gave up on me... as everyone does" I confessed softly. I normally would have snapped and demanded to be left alone, but being left by the one I always thought would never leave me... was the last drop I needed to admit I need to talk to someone. And that someone being someone I trust, like Rukia "What should I do now?".

"Do you love him?" she asked, a question that didn't popped into my head. Not even after two fully days asking myself everything but anything at the same time.

 _Do I love Renji?_ I thought of all those times he stood by me, trusting me blindly no matter what I did. Always believing that I had a good reason behind my actions. Always striving to be better, to gain my approval... one that I never gave him. How just by his presence I felt myself relax and know that everything will be fine... because we are the best team and we never lose. How whenever we fight side by side I don't even think about checking my blind spots constantly, for I know he always has my back. How he knows me so well that he always knows when something is wrong.

However, that doesn't mean I love him. All that would make me appreciate him as a lieutenant... as a brother. But not as a lover, not as I loved Hisana. Suddenly I thought about what made me love Hisana in the first place, she loved _me_ not Byakuya Kuchiki. But even then I never was able to be truly free with her, cause she needed me strong with how ill she was. Also, we didn't have enough time together for that. But with Renji I did... he didn't need me to be strong, he just needed  _me_. He admires _me_. He trusts  _me_. He follows _me_. Not the head of the Kuchiki family, nor the captain of the sixth division. He loves _me_.

No... he  _loved_ me.  

And that hurt more than I ever thought possibly, because... I _love_ him.

"Oni-sama" Rukia sighed sadly, getting closer to whip softly the solitary tear that I didn't know I had shed with her thumb "So that's my answer" she said softly "As for yours... tell him how you feel. He was brave enough to confess and to stay by your side all this time. I believe that he deserves for you to tell him the truth and for you to fight with the Kuchiki elders for him".

"He will not take me back" I stated grimly.

"Then you are a fool Oni-sama" I was shocked by her disrespect, she never talked to me like this "Renji loved you for so much time, even though he gave up on you that doesn't mean he suddenly doesn't love you anymore. It takes time for that to happen, sometimes it never happens. Just show him that you are serious and that you are willing to change for him, he will understand and accept you. It might take time... but he did wait for a long while. It is your time now".

"You have grown into such a wise woman" I told her.

Our conversation was cut short when I received a Hell Butterfly, informing me that I was urgently needed in the office of the general commander. Knowing that the rest of the conversation needed to wait, I bid Rukia goodbye and flash stepped towards there. I wasn't even surprise when every other captain of the Gotei 13 was there, all but Renji. I discreetly looked around the room, thinking that I might have not seen him the first time. But it was no use, I couldn't even feel his riatsu in the building.

"Don't wait for Abarai-taichou he is in a mission right now" Genryūsai-taichou told us.

"So, why the hell are we here?! Let's better cut this short, I have more important things to do right now" we all rolled our eyes at the usual disrespect of Zaraki-taichou. However, I could note that this time it wasn't in his usual I-care-for-nothing tone, but he was quite... nervous? Worried? What could have gotten him like that?

"We are here because Kuchiki-taichou had important news for us" Genryūsai-taichou answered not even caring about Zaraki-taichou by now.

"What? I was called here by you Genryūsai-taichou" by my reply everyone got defensive "Who called us all here?" I asked the question everyone was thinking.

Suddenly every window and door in the room got closed, sealing us inside. We all got our zanpaktous out and were ready for an attack. However, the only thing that came was huge ball of light in middle of the room. It was blinding at first, but then when you looked at it more closely you could see the image of someone inside. So I looked more carefully, blood running cold when I recognize who they were... **The Zodiacs** **!**

 


	8. Toshiro

"Excuse me" I called out for the boy working in Hiromi's café.

I've never seen him before, which shouldn't be a surprise as I always come here very early and the only one working is my girl… ex-girlfriend. But not today, today there is a very attractive young man working in Hiromi's place. I knew that I didn't deserve to feel this jealous, not after everything I've done to her, but I can't stop the green eye monster from coming out when I think of the love of my life working side by side with _him_. He was tall and attractive, doesn't look as a little boy as well.

"Yes, sir?" He replied.

"Where is Hiromi?" I asked him, going to the point rapidly.

"She went away, she has to recollect the right herbs to make her special tea and the right ingredients to make her homemade sweets. We ran out of them, I would normally do that but she wanted to take some time off of the café" he answered politely. His words were like daggers in my heart, because of me she ran away from the café she loves and the clients she adores "Something else?".

"No" I told him "Thank you" with that said I left the café and headed to my division.

I still recall her words full of pain and sorrow, all brought by me. The worst was her shocked face when I accused her of being an envious and jealous bitch. How could I say something like that to the person I love the most in my life?! I didn't even notice what a horrible boyfriend I've been until she broke up with me, after slapping me _hard_ , and the scolding I received from Hyorinmaru. Now I have to wait until she returns to gain her forgiveness.

Not only that I had a huge fight with Hinamori-fukotaichou when she barged into my office and stated that I was going to help her out, without even asking! I was already devastated by my break up, and some part of me blamed her, the one I consider as a sister, to blame for all my problems. So, the first thing I did was yell at her and accused her of getting between Hiromi and me. That got me a tearful Momo running out of my office and another scolding from Hyorinmaru.

All thoughts of Hiromi I was forced to put in the back of my head when I received the hell butterfly from Yamamoto-taichou. However, when I got to his office the last thing I expected was to find that we were now facing a new enemy, the legend: **The zodiacs**.

" _Bonjour Gotei 13 and Hueco Mundo! You surely must be asking yourselves how were we able to imprison you when we aren't even in the Soul Society or Hueco Mundo? Or even better… how are we alive? Many of you don't know about us, we are only a legend told to scare the little ones. We are the only enemy, before Aizen, that got the Hollows and Shinigamis to work together… and that caused the deaths of thousands, even the deaths of five of our members. We didn't die all. No, we just relocated and planned. Now you are all our prisoners, you will watch and suffer as we reveal all your dark secrets to the five persons that changed the lives of the society and mean something for you all. We will turn them into zodiacs and then we will come for you all… and we'll kill you all"._

The maniacal dark laugh he had afterwards was so cliché that I was angry at myself, when I shivered in fear because of it. Then the image changed from **The zodiacs** to a group of four shinigamis and a woman. They were Kurosaki-san, Abarai-taichou, Ayasegawa-fukotaichou, Yamada-san and… no… no, it can't be… _Hiromi!_


	9. Shuhei

_I'm a coward, that's what I am._  I thought sadly as I entered the ninth division.

I had a restless night yesterday, Yumichika's disgusted expression hunted me in my sleep. His words prevented me from sleeping, more than once I had found myself waking up screaming to my boy... ex-boyfriend to not leave me. However, why would he do that when I cheated on him as I did, not only because I flirted with Matsumoto-fukotaicho. But also, because I lured him with empty promises into a position where he had his family turning his back on him. While I, on the other hand, left unharmed and broke my word.

What's worse is that I just found out that things were so bad in the eleventh division for Yumichika that he had to put a request for transfer. This morning while heading towards here I overheard some shinigamis talking about how surprised they were when they found out that a fourth seat got Renji's unoccupied place in the sixth squad. That was a low blow.

Kazeshini has always been right... not only I am a coward when it comes to accept myself, but I also am afraid of what people say about me. Principal reason why I can't admit to anyone of my feelings for Yumichika. Goodness for years I didn't want to admit them to myself! But he saw right threw me, broke down the walls I built around me to deceive the rest into believing that I was strong... that I wasn't afraid of anything. But in reality I am scared of myself...

However, right now my fear isn't centred on me, but on my love. If being held prisoner in my own division wasn't enough, my ex being played by the legendary zodiacs is. I've heard all about them, how they were a group of shinigamis and hollows that believed peace could be achieved between our kinds. As expected they were banished and looked down upon. But during those years they recruited people, creating an army. Their power grew immensely... and they finally attacked with the objective of conquering both words. Of shaping the Hueco Mundo and Soul Society into their idea of the perfect empire. That was the first time that shinigamis and huecos worked together, and we won the war believing that they were exterminated... it seems that we were wrong.

 _But that's the least of my worries right now._ I thought desperately. _I have to find a way to get the hell out of here and go find Yumichika. It's the least I can do for him, I have to save him from **them**!_

 

 


	10. Kenpachi

Not even when I had two dead bodies in my office did my rage decrease, if anything I only felt even more protective and angry.

 _How could these pieces of shit talk like that of their 'mother'?!_ I screamed in my head furiously. _Hana doesn't only take care of us when we get hurt, but also cook for us, gives us emotional support and good advices. He is more importantly MINE! Something that I don't bother to hide and flaunt as much as possible by dragging him on my lap whenever the eleventh division gathers together, by taking him with my Yachiru in our back rides around the Gotei 13. Also, by molesting him as much as possible in front of people so they know that they have to BACK THE HELL OFF! He belongs to me, and I make sure anyone who dares to THINK that they have a chance with him to end in the fourth division. For extra precaution I leave clear marks on his neck, so when he visits the town those pitiful souls will know he is taken._

"Ken-chan!" exclaimed a typically cheerful Yachiru, jumping on my back "Oh... they are dead" she commented nonchalantly, she was used to this already "Was this why Oka-san ran away earlier?".

My previous anger that had vanished as soon as I heard the voice of the one I love as a daughter returned as soon as I processed the words that left her mouth "What?!" I snarled. Not even her calling MY Hana Oka-san, something that I loved and encouraged since the very beginning, helped to calm my blood lust.

"Yes, I had just came from a mission and saw him standing outside your office. I ran towards him so he could help me write my report when he dashed away! He was in such a hurry that he bumped into me and didn't notice who I was! Oka-san doesn't like to fight, so the bodies must have scared him off" she explained to me, completely oblivious that we might have just lost the 'mother' of our family.

 _Did he hear what those men said? Did he stay to see that I defended him and terminated the problem? Or did he ran away before and thinks that I planned to help these pieces of shit rape him?_ Those were the questions that were in my head as I angrily tore threw Gotei 13 and the village nearby in search of Hana.

Of course, I didn't find him and to add to my bad luck I was forced to assist to an idiotic meeting in the old man's office that got us all captured by some FUCKING group of bastards that will be dead as soon as I get my hands on them. Because if there is something that people don't get, no matter how hard I try to show the whole world, is that Hana is MINE!!!


End file.
